All about Bing and Morange *Part II*

After hard trying to get rid of the sadness because I lost Oky...I continued Binging...Made new friends..Met new people who affected in my life,though I know them cyberly...

Lemah Lanang.
Was his nick name,I rarely chatted with him,but at that day I felt absofuckinglutely close to him.
We met only in chat room,but then I found his Friendster and my heart beat faster when I saw his pic.

SWEET!!!
Hehehe.

Then we decided to be in a realationship...through net and phone...

And finally I decided to visit him in Jogja...I've never gone alone that far...but I don't know how could I got that bravery to go to Jogja,alone.

It was in April '09, if i'm not mistaken...

Stayed with him for somedays and tried to knew him more... Ya,i did fall in love,deeply.

He is not handsome,even I can say that he is black,skinny,but there is an inner beauty inside him which I couldn't find in any other faces.

Our love grew stronger after that meeting...but again,it had to be end with GoodbyE.

A month later,again I visited him,when I just reached the rilway station he told me that he had another new gf. He found her in Morange...ya,he left Bing and moved to Morange..and I followed him and it led me to deep sadness.

He chosed that girl.
I couldn't accept it..but it was the fact.

Are Allah,is that my destiny?
To be left again and over again after everything I've done for those guys??

Till now,I keep asking,where is the justice.

all about Bing and Morange.*part I*

some years ago,3 years ago exactly,I joined a social application which let me to meet my first cyber love and another loves also...xixixi.

Firstly I joined Bing..I knew that application from Alfan,my ex bf...I found many friends at that time...I knew Ryan,Luna,Tie,Chil,Tri,Ibenk,Nud,om agung,Milan,and 2 of my real ex bfs,Mien and Oky...

Started from my friendship's life..Well,it was just an ordinary friendship,we just spent the nights together,with talking and sharing..yaa...we were close.and it was an enough reason to make me became an introvert girl at the first time I enter my univ...

After some nights I spent with a guy named Viky,I had a crush on him. He was simple,knew me very well,so did I. Though he is a disabled guy,coz he got accident when he was 7yrz old,he didn't make it as reason to be a weak guy,I learnt much from him. The only thing I hated from him was,his exagrated protection,ya..he was fucking possesiv...I might not have any guy friend on my buddy list at that time. And it let me to run to Nud...I cried at the first time I talked to him through phone...hahaha. Stupid.

I forgot the every detail of my story with those two guys and the only thing I can remember now is,I left them. Nud now is married and viky...I dont know.

At other night a friend,named Andre,invited me to a chat room...I met Ibenk and Oky there...Indeed,at the first time I talked to Ibenk,I liked him..I dont know why I could fall that easy to a stranger. Haha. But we are different..he is a christ,and we'll never be able to be together...so he introduced me to his friend,,at the same time,I had another cyber bf,Bayu,hope he is fine now. We almost got married maybe. Haha. He has ever talked to my mom,and asked me to be his wife. But everything was over AGAIN,because simply we have different thought about our religion.

Back to Ibenk's friend,Oky...I dont know the start...Everything ran very fast...and we met at real...ya,he is nice...sweet...and even at that time i dreamt to be his wife. Xixixi.
Everything seemed so perfect when were together till that day came.

'hun,siap2 cari pengganti ak ya'

WTF.

after all the things ive done,he could be that easy to say so. He said he got a problem with his family...so he asked to end our relationship.

I was so numb.
Empty.

khush raho!!

last night i read in someone's blog about cyber love...and it simply made me cry...i put all my emotion when i was reading it..happy,sad,jealous,angry..hmmm...it happened because i remember a name which that blog mentioned also..NAZEER..

A totally stranger man for me...I've never seen him but I do recognize him. I've never thouched him,but I do feel he is always be around me..ya,Nazeer Muhammad...

How could I love that man so much?
How could I fall this deep?
How could I want that man to be real tht badly?

Ya Allah...those thoughts were flying around my mind when I read that blog...simply because I loved and still...I do miss him so much...and its been almost 4 months everything was over...since he left me because my stupidity...

I do regret it.
I want to have him again,,,

Kisahku

Akhirx gw k jakarta jg. . .

Finally i had a blog:d

Awh awh.
6.07,,,11 februari '10. .
Akhirx gw bkin blog jg:s.
Tao dah tar mw ngapain dmari. . . :(
Welcum me evry1:d.